So it's been about 18 months since my last
blog post. I tried to think of a good reason why I’ve neglected this blog for
so long- I went on a trip around the world and didn’t have internet access, a
cousin of my second cousin twice removed got sick, my dog ate my homework…but the only real reason I can find is that I lost my voice…not literally…but
shock horror, I ran out of things to say (and believe me that doesn’t happen
very often.)
I’ve recently been contemplating the
reality that I’m turning 25 this year. It’s not the number I’m scared of, call
it a quarter life crisis, but I don’t fear the age, I fear the expectations
that come with being 25. Over the past year I have watched some of my closest
friends get engaged, get married, buy a house, move out of home, travel the
world, get their dream job and start a family…and it terrifies me to think that
I’m 24 years old and still don’t have my life figured out.
But then I thought, does anyone really have
their life figured out? or are we all struggling to find ourselves while
projecting an image of togetherness to the world? We determine success by
whether someone is in a relationship, their social status, their job,
their income, their assets but we over look the single determining factor of
success…happiness.
Now, I don’t have a husband, or a fiancé,
or a boyfriend, or even a potential date for this weekend (not by lack of
trying). I still live at home with my parents (I’m really selling myself here…guess
I can rule marketing off my list of prospective careers), I don’t own a house, or even a car and the most valuable item I
own is a handbag…but I’m happy. I have amazing friends, a loving and
supportive albeit slightly overbearing family. I’ve got the career I’ve always
wanted- and maybe its not my dream career- but it’s the more attainable,
realistic option. I’ve got a roof over my head and a pretty sizeable income. I’ve
travelled overseas and I’ve met my celebrity idol three times now (if you include
the time I “bumped” into him at the airport- it was purely "coincidental" that I happened
to be at the right airport, at the right gate, at the right time, on the right
day). While I'm comfortable with how my life is at the moment, the fear of turning 25 is that everyone expects me to have answers that I haven't quite figured out yet. I'm content being single, but yes I do want to be married and have kids some day, but no grandma, I haven't got my eye on any boy at the moment.
A friend recently asked me if I have a 5 year plan. Before I could even respond to that question, she began to rattle off hers. It was pretty standard- establish a career, get married, start a family, travel overseas. In fact, it seemed eerily familiar as I listened to it. I guess that's why she's my best friend. We are both on the same path as each other and we're both reaching for the same things. It's good to have goals...they give us motivation to work towards achieving something...but what happens when we don't reach them? or at least not in the timeframe that we set ourselves?
Upon contemplating my own 5 year plan, I realised that cupid doesn't give a flying arrow about a 5 year plan. I can map out my life as much as I want to but at the end of the day, love will come into my life when I'm ready for it. I could meet Mr Right tomorrow but I may be 40 years old before it happens. In 5 years time I hope that I've fully established my career and right now, i'm on the right track to achieving that goal, but my boss doesn't really care about my 5 year plan. She's focused on the work I'm doing right now. So if I achieve all the things I've set out to do in the next 10 years instead of 5, have I failed because I didn't do it in my targeted timeframe or have I succeeded because I still achieved my goals?
We put far too much pressure on ourselves to do everything within an intended timeframe. The timeframe isn't something we set for ourself after careful contemplation of how long we realistically think it will take for that particular event to happen. It's usually a result of the time frame society has deemed acceptable. I think we need to focus more on a 'life plan'. Write down what we want to achieve in our lifetime and work towards those goals at our own pace. It's still essentially the same concept as a 5 year plan, or a 10 year plan but without the added stress of a deadline and the feeling of disappointment when we don't achieve something in a given time.
I'm still 8 months away from 25, so i still have quite some time to figure out who I am before I have to have all of the answers. But right now, I'm living in the present. I'm happy and I'm enjoying life as it unfolds. Whatever happens will happen when it's the right time for it to happen but until then, I'm going to immerse myself in all of the good things I have in my life already and enjoy a good cocktail or two with my friends while I'm doing it.
